I think its fair to say that my life is kind of ruining my life right now.
I also think its fair to say I hate change.
I only like change when I have discussed it until David's ears bleed or I have investigated it on the interweb or researched whatever we might be doing or changing to death... and even then I don't really like doing new things or going to new places ... As soon as Ive experience something once ... I relax. This problem obviously grows as big as I "want" it to... for example two years ago if we were going to a restaurant or a sports venue I hadn't been too ... I would have to drive past and look at the place before hand.... counselling has helped with this type of beyond control freak behaviour and I'm please to say I don't let myself do this shite anymore.... um where was I....
The children have started back at school and this means Bear has started high school. This means change . I'm not coping that well with it. Everything is different (and in my opinion harder). The machinations of getting him to and from school seriously have me looking for a new house ( to say this went down like a lead balloon with D is the understatement of the day). Bear likes to move at his own pace and is sort of unorganised (or maybe his is just a normal 12 yr old boy) and THERE IS SO MUCH MORE ORGANISATION NEEDED. From the minute he gets up I feel like I am pushing water uphill to get him out the door in time and when he gets home I feel like he has so much homework and organising to do for the next day... I get anxious just thinking about what he will forget. I will type what is obvious to all... Bear is not the problem. I am.
The other change that is killing me is our house. I know from both research and first hand experience that renovating is stressful. I'm also incredibly scared about putting lots of $ into our house (who really wants to be in more debt?). I'm sure I am not grown up enough to be making these decisions. What if we over capitalise on our property? What if we cant pay our mortgage and have to eat mince forever? What if I pick the wrong colours for my bathroom? Gas? Electricity? Valium?
I know that with help - this will all be ok. The new circumstances in my life will get easier I will get use to the new ( inconvenient) schedule and with the amount of school stuff going on in both kids lives and the house reno will come together ... But I wish it was all ok now.
Ok I wrote this post at the start of the week ... and I'm seeing light at the end of the "why am I having a nervous breakdown about bathroom taps" tunnel.
I may even be going to the movies with my friend on sat night... oh happier days ahead.
6 comments:
Breathe- take it one day at a time. There are worse things than eating mince for every meal for the rest of your life. I think.
Were those the colors you picked for your bathroom? If so- I may have to stop following your blog :)
Hey Holly I just paid a really nice lady lots of $$ to give me the exact same advice -you should charge more...
Thanks for your comment.
Ex
You make me smile with every post! I even laughed out loud at one point because we share some craziness.
Renovations are the most stressful things ever--well, probably not ever, but you know what I mean..I wish David was in Utah to do my granite.
I have learned so much during this process and I'm learning to trust myself more and more. I am still scared out of my mind about stuff I've chosen but in the end, it is just stuff and it will be okay--but I agree I don't want to pay a lot to not get my money out of it later, or worse, to not enjoy it myself.
I'm glad things are looking up for you--I'm excited to see what you guys do with the place.
Thanks Brooke, you are so right about trusting yourself and keeping in mind that at the end of the day the aim is to make our living spaces better, nicer and more peaceful ;-)
Ex
Repeat after me: Change is GOOD. Trust me - my life is in complete upheavel (pretty sure I spelled that wrong) right now and what I'm finding is that....change IS good!
As far as your son goes....my son is 16 - going on 45 (because he knows EVERYTHING, you know) - and we had some serious adjustments/arguments/knock down drag out fights once he hit Jr High (which was at the same age your son is starting High School). Finally I decided to just let him figure things out. I stopped being the homework Nazi. I stopped checking the backpack. I stopped worrying over his assignments and grades. Because it was making our home life (and relationship) HELL. Letting go of those things was SO hard for me. And I'll admit that he kind of crashed and burned for a little bit....but then he figured it out! He learned that it's easier to get things done early rather than stress about things at the last minute. He learned that if he put in just a little extra effort on assignments then he wouldn't have to re-do so many of them. He learned that neater handwriting really can make for better grades (if you can't even read the answers how can you get them right?). And he learned that it sucks being grounded/having things taken away for bad grades and that it's much more fun to do the things that are rewards for good grades.
This parenting stuff is hard, isn't it? If only our kids new how much we worry over them.
Amanda - you are a great Mum this advice is gold.
I am very much stealing all your tips and ideas. I put it into practice on Friday and he forgot his sports uniform... but he survived and with a bit of luck he wont forget it again (yeah I'm dreaming probably). Thanks again and have a great weekend.
Ex
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