First World Problems

According to Urban Dictionary First World Problems are:

Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialized nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at.

This week I feel like I have a lot of FWP.

FWP1. I paid $35 for a hair cut. For Riley.

I was sort of ambushed into it. Sort of. Riley likes to get his haircut at the same place his cousins and Cath do. Its always expensive but as he is so so so low maintenance I don't mind. He gets about 3 haircuts a year and I feel a bit sorry for him because he is starting to get David's coarse curly hair (hair changes when you go thru puberty just so you know) so a decent haircut is the least I can do for him.

Anyhoo last night AFTER Bear is in the chair and gowned up and the perky blond is running her fingers thru his hair... she turns to me and says "Our price for Boys High School cuts has gone up to $35 OK?"

What was I going to do at that point? Even though I have no desire to be a cool Mum I also have no desire to embarrass my kids unnecessarily so even if I saved $10 bucks by changing hairdressers dragging my teenager out of there didn't really cross my mind. Still I feel ill at paying that amount for a kids haircut.

FWP2. George Clooney called and he wants his coffee machine back.

Oh look at his happy face.

We bought a Nespresso coffee machine. Although its swanky (with a silent s) it does make great coffee just like the real cafe deal. Slight problem caffeine makes me anxious. After two days of nausea and full on anxiety I remembered why I gave it up. Dave is still enjoying it.

FWP3. I bought some new summery shoes and I want to wear them.Now.

Its 11 degrees today.

FWP4. We are going on holidays. Soon.

I haven't packed. I feel I am not ready to go. I also am feeling stressed about going (where will we eat, what if the kids snow gear doesn't fit, what if they freeze on the slopes, will the hotel have quick internet and excellent cable TV, and again where will we eat?).

When will I have my shite together enough NOT to freak out over going on holidays?

FWP5. I miss Daisy.

Because of FWP4. I dropped Daisy off to our friends who are baby sitting her whilst we are away.

I got a bit teary leaving her. I wish they let me take her on the plane it would make for a much calmer flight.

Okay do YOU have first world problems? Please feel free to share so I dont feel like the massive loser that I am.

Ex

Swap the Neck Swap the Neck!

Do you think the masses who watched Catherine Elizabeth walk up the isle thought "Geez that Princess has let herself go, she would be a such a catch for William if she lost a few Kegs "?



Yeah me neither.



Obviously the idiot who runs the magazine Grazia did. The bride got the cover shot but only after she was photo shopped to get rid of much of her (already tiny) waist.

I am going to embarrass myself here ... until about 5 years ago I had never even heard of photo shopping /digitally altering (yeah I don't get out much). I really thought that celebrities and 'stars' looked that good. I thought they had great genes and a lot of luck and good fitness trainers whilst having none of the normal imperfections I (and most peeps) was blessed with.


Altering images is pretty much standard for all advertisers and magazines now and it's a sad indictment of how people (us!) are represented in the media.

She looks her age, no big deal. She made Guy Richie get the chop, super shocking (lunatic) big deal.

Props to this K sis (sorry I have no clue who is who) who set the record straight about how much altering her imaged had when it appeared on a magazine cover. She had just had a baby and looked gorgeous ... obviously not gorgeous enough to be shown to the general public.

The altered cover of Grazia made me think of the movie The September Issue which is a great fly on the wall documentary about the magazine Vogue.

The movies focus is Anna Wintour the Editor of Vogue (who needs a good feed and or a warm jacket) and the decisions she makes to get the highest selling edition of the magazine out.

Its fascinating and Grace Coddington pretty much steals the movie. She is the Creative Director and her 'work' is just gorgeous.


Grace's work is pictures and they all look like pieces of art and that pretty much sums up how the staff see most of the images that make it into the mag. Beautiful pieces of art that should be altered to make look as stunning as possible.

Enter Sienna Miller the Cover Girl for the September edition. Sienna is the subject of some very average i.e. normal pictures that are then altered by the art director. Her teeth are whitened, her hair is smoothed, all lines are erased and her neck gets the chop. In the end the photo that runs is an amalgamation of shots taken at the photo shoot. One wonders why Sienna had to go to Rome and actually stand in the shot when it all could have been put together in the art directors photo shop app.

I like looking at beautiful pictures.

I just don't like being sold a lie. I HATE that my 11 year old feels her stomach has "too many rolls" because authentic representation of girls and women in the media is almost non existent. I despair that new mothers feel like failures if they don't look like (insert celebrities name here) 2 weeks after giving birth.

I tell my kids all the time that images are altered (Even the picture of footballers etc that Riley looks at in sports magazines are doctored) to get rid of normal looking bits that EVERYBODY has. I do this because I don't want them to look at their own bodies and feel sub par.

I think that the government should make publishers label all images that have been altered so we as a society can get a real handle on just what it is to look "normal".

Rant over and Grazia ... you are a pack of tools.

The Edge ...

There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

~Hunter S. Thompson

I can guarantee that the father of the Gonzo was NOT referring to a middle aged suburbanite just "gettin it done" each and every day with that quote.

But still I know The Edge.

For me its that place where I am ultra anxious ultra hyped and ultra scared about life's ultra trivial shite like making sure a school uniform is washed or we have tea at 6.35pm.

I realised Christmas Day that I no longer hover near The Edge.

I love that I wake up not exhausted from trying to keep all of my responsibilities from crashing down on me.

I wake up knowing I have responsibilities (like every other grown up) but I either choose to let them send me to The Edge or I choose to listen to my counsellor and my friends, get some exercise and good food and generally calm the eff down about life's machinations.

Evidently no one ever died from going to a dentist check up 2 weeks after the call back date.

For a long time I thought hovering at The Edge was a sign of being in control and living life. Apparently if I was consumed by the process of keeping a family clothed, fed and on time surely I was going to get a medal someday (off whom I am not sure) and that would proof of what a good productive life I had lived.

Yeah I never said I was sane.

But I realise how far I had moved on from that thinking on Christmas Day last year.

Maybe it was the break in the weather and seeing some sunshine, feeling loved up with family, being out with Bear and David for a bike ride or just general Christmas cheer but I just felt so CONTENT, HAPPY, BLESSED and LUCKY to be me.

I felt like I was living the life I was suppose to live ... having such a good time with my family and not worrying about the next thing. The Edge was so far from my mind and had been for a while.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it (oops just broke the first rule of blogging) I will always struggle with living in the now. I will always need to keep reminding myself of my priorities, my families priorities and how I DON'T want to feel each day. I will probably always have to fight the urge to plan and check and plan again and more importantly NOT freak out when the plan doesn't come together or when other people throw chaos into my order.

Also just so you know after these pics were taken Lulu rode her bike into the back of Bears and Bear called her an a not nice name ... and it started raining. Still it was what it was.

and then my head fell off.

As our camera is still having a holiday in the city this is a random thoughts / ramble through my brain post.

• I don't like this time of year. I start to get sad when school finishes and after school activities wind up. I know the kids are very ready for their summer holiday break but I am filled with melancholy at the thought of packed up classrooms and break up parties.

• Its raining. I do not like the rain. Its been raining for a week already and the weather people say its going to be a wet Summer and Christmas. Awesome.

• Bear has officially completed Year 8. He did well. David and I did well. I don't think he got his head flushed down the toilet (too much).

• I am way too young to have a child in Year 9.

• Last night I went Christmas shopping. I was not successful and I am starting to get anxious about the gift buying and giving that will be here in the blink of an eye.

• No shopping completed last night but I have nice shellaced toenails. It was a present to myself.

• Today at work I have had to listen to David go off at people on two continents. The German made machine in the workshop has stopped. Parts are coming ... from Germany or Italy. Not quickly enough for David.

• I have discovered the Sushi Train at the plaza. I am in love with the Sushi Train at the plaza. I am trying to devise ways off getting back to the plaza to eat more Sushi Train.

• Lulu put our Christmas Tree up this week. It looks hideous but it matches the rest of the house nicely. I didn't bother with my table pieces or Christmas decor. The house is a construction site and this weekend I am packing it up ... like taking all pics off walls and putting the bookcases etc into storage. The hideous Christmas Tree will be all that's left in the middle of the hideous lounge room.

• I have a massive headache today (too much Sushi Train?) so this post is just a little bit crappy.

• My friend Vyc bought the yummiest perfume last night. Whoever invented perfume really did the world a huge service.

• Life is Good.

• Life is very Good. Really.

A Play some Poetry and a Disco

I think (and hope) I am pretty much the Average Joe when it comes to parenting. I have days when I am both amazed and delighted with my kids behaviour and their abilities and I am genuinely impressed with their coping skills and reactions to some fairly hairy school situations. In particular Lulu and the social aspect of school where 10 and 11 year old girls view friendship as a contact sport. Recently we attended a Pizza and Poetry Night at Bear's school and his English Teacher praised him and had positive things to say about him... and relief flooded through me. Because in all honesty there are days when I am so appalled at my kids behaviour or attitudes that I cry/yell/lock myself away in my room. It's at these times that I can not believe Dave and I are responsible for turning these kids into decent adults capable of holding down jobs and contributing to society in a positive way. To make myself feel better on the "challenging" days I think of parenting not as a sprint nor as an exact science ... its just one foot in front of the other and getting up each day to give it another go. I am also acutely aware that many parents have far worse trials with their kids. On the whole I scored a big fat gift when it comes to my kids ... no issues we have had has been too much for us to bare and we do consider ourselves to be so lucky (still annoyed when the 13 year old tells us off but lucky all the same).



Anyhoo this is what we have been up before I forget the details in the fabric. Bear had a Poetry and Pizza night at school. We (the parents) got to listen to the kids read the poetry pieces they have been working on for English and have Pizza afterwards. It was a great night and although we were given fairly strict instructions from Bear about Not clapping, Not laughing, Not telling jokes and Not calling him Bear in front of other people. He didn't specifically say I couldn't take a photo - he looks pleased no?. His poem was very clever and all the kids were very talented (and they all just hoped up in front of the parents and kids and belted out their prose... confidence is a blast to watch).




Lulu had a Disco at school. She went with the pink theme (complete with the gangsta /peace sign).

Lulu was also in the school play.

I chopped he other kid out the pic but you get the idea.

Special thanks has to go to the gorgeous Miss Vyc. She sewed all Lulu's costumes for the play. Lulu after seeing some of my sewing efforts couldn't thank Vyc enough. Lulu's beggars sack AND pink sparkly skirt were the best on stage for sure.

Poor Vyc not only sews my kids costumes she also gets to listen to me rabbit on in real life about usually quite boring "stuff". (Wow she is so lucky no?)

Thanks again Vyc ... you rock.