Things I have learnt

It's true University is the seat of learning. I did my first two days there and I learnt heaps. For instance I now know the following:

• Students are the enemy.

• If you want to appear smart talk in acronyms.

This may have been an actual convo with my new boss.
New boss " Now that our POD is on the QRS you will have to get the BSY to the APT with the YFR."

Me" Ok ... wait WHAT????"

• If your office overlooks the Uni pool you can look out your window between 8am and 10.30am and watch the French Olympic swimming team train. In Speedos.

• Students are the enemy.

• The friendly grey haired chap in the checked shirt is the Big Kahuna. I'm just giving you this info so you don't make a wise crack to him before a meeting and then find out he is the Big Kahuna.

• If you want to change the location of the stack of letterhead paper be prepared for a 25 minute discussion about the pros and cons of moving it.

• Nobody talks to the new kid except to say "Good luck with that" when you tell them your job title.

• No meeting is ever complete without a PowerPoint presentation and the words suboptimal performance guidelines(???).

• Even though nobody talks to the new kid, the new kid cant believe they get paid to do this job.

• and lastly remember students are the enemy even though everyone seems to have been one at some stage going from all the framed degrees in offices. Weird.