Back to High School

I went "back to High school" last night ... it was as bad as I remember it being.

Bears High School held a "back to School " night for new parents. I only found out about it yesterday as Bear "lost" the invitation sent out two weeks ago telling parents the details of the night. Of course there was no time to get a babysitter so Dave "offered" to stay home and I went to relive Grade 8. It both sucked and rocked ... just like the first time round. Not actually seeing the invite, I had no idea what the night entailed. I presumed (hoped beyond hope) that it would involve a welcoming prayer, a nice cup of tea (and homemade bickies) and a quick chat with Bears teachers who would all thank me for bringing such a handsome, well mannered , hard working child into their lives....all wrapped up before 8.30pm so I could be home on the couch in time to watch Big Love.
It started at a time of night I am usually sitting on the couch in my pjs ordering children to get me another drink of cordial or bring me the biscuit barrel... so I arrived at the school and know no one , I sit by myself in the hall (just like High school) pretty soon we get put into the class groups our kids are in and get handed a timetable that we will have to keep for the next two hours. Listed on the timetable are the classrooms we have to find... in the dark ... all over the school campus... I get lost (just like High School) and pissed off with other members in my class who all seem to know one another and carry on like they are the part of the in crowd (just like High School). My first class was Woodwork/graphics ... I'm not making this shite up. The teacher asks us to put on protective gloves and start filling down the little plastic disks on the desks with the files (?) in front of us. When I did Grade 8 woodwork (you know the first time) I actually slipped with a drill and ended up with a huge whole in my uniform skirt just being about about 1 cm from DRILLING INTO MY LEG....I then got through the rest of High School Woodwork by not going near a drill and by chatting up the boys in my class and asking them to complete all my projects... not really an option last night so I soldiered on and I amazingly finished my plastic disk/keyring in time to take it home. Then the bell rings and its off to our next class, by this time Ive caught on to the fact that this night is all about walking a mile in our kids shoes and experiencing school like they do. I hate David at this point.
Next is English Class and I get to sit next to another "student" who knows no one ,we break the ice and exchange a bit of info about our kids... and I get told off for talking in class. English Class involves listening to a piece of music from the Lion King and thinking about how it applies to our child's "Circle of Life" . We get a limited amount of time to jot down essay points and then have to finish the rest as homework. Choice.
Next is Science Class were we have to get into pairs (I'm picked last so there's a nice flash back from 198something) and do a science experiment that illustrates a chemical reaction. It goes well I don't blow anything up or spill the acid on my partner. .. but I do have an urge to fiddle with the Bunsen burners.
So off to our last class... Maths. I may or may not have cheated shamelessly off the "student" sitting next to me because it was A) 9.25pm AT NIGHT and B) I HATE MATHS. Finally the bell rings and we are excused for the night... I'm exhausted. The combination of trying to find the classrooms, not knowing anybody, trying not to ask stupid questions in front of the class and generally being back in Grade 8 has done my head in.

Of course I wouldn't have missed it for the world... and its a great big fat reminder of how much Bear is getting through each day. So when he is comatose on the couch surrounded by cups and plates of half eaten afternoon tea, showing no particular interest in doing his homework or speaking in complete sentences... I will try to cut him a bit of slack, he has after all survived another day in Grade 8.
Also when I sat down to do my English "homework" I cried... Our homework is to compose a letter addressed to Bear detailing how we feel as parents as we watch him on his journey through life. The opportunity to complete that letter was worth every minute of reliving the highs and lows of Grade 8.

PS I know who will be going "Back to School" when Lulu hits High School... Starts with D and rhymes with avid.