Worst morning evah

ok that is a compete exaggeration but it was pretty bad.

I woke with a bit of a sense of dread about today... no idea why but I felt like I had a dark cloud over me as soon as I opened my eyes. I woke Bear up at 6.30am telling him that it was a) 6.30am and b) he needed to get ready to go to his sport. He replied that a) don't wake him up at 6.30 and b) he didn't have to be at the oval til 8.30. Fine. I drank coffee uninterrupted (this was the best part of my day for a while) until the phone rang at 7.15. Its Bears coach asking him where he was and why wasn't he at the oval at 7am like he should be. The child has played the sport for 4 years... he should know what time he needs to be where. This is when I struggle with parenting 101 as we are trying to let Bear take more responsibility for his actions, his belongings and his schedule of activities... that is the easy part - standing by when the consequences come down on him is the hard part. We keep telling Bear his new motto is "If its meant to be Its up to me...and I can do Anything"... He just smiles and asks me where his socks are.

So I was feeling craptastic about the stellar start to the day Bear was having, the dark cloud was still with me, D had toddled off for the day to his sport and it wasn't even 8 o'clock.

I text my friend to see if we could go to a movie or coffee later in the weekend to give me a bit of light on the horizon but she wasn't able to get away so I ploughed on.

I realised that one of the reasons for my bad mood was the incredible mess most of my storage cupboards were in and Ive been really impressed with a blogger named Shelley who has amazing abilities to turn ordinary areas like the laundry into clean refreshing spaces (I'm not sure what the linking etiquette is so I wont link her ) and her advice is to just clean and organise one space at a time. I started pulling stuff out of a cupboard that is so in need of a clean out I cant close the doors properly... imagine that its so full of rubbish I cant squash anymore in. I pulled down a box that once had 4 wine glasses in it (it now only has one so that is NOT a good use of space right there people) and managed to pull a stupid heavy glass jug down ONTO MY HEAD and then MY FOOT. It shatters into a million pieces with a few of those pieces ending up in my toe.

I give up cleaning ... a bleeding foot is a sure sign to not clean out the cupboard today.

Lulu and I then get organised to take back some books and DVDs to the library. That goes ok except on the way I start to get very scared and anxious that something very bad is going to happen to us because I'm in such a crappy mood... like I may "attract" it. I tell Lulu that I'm feeling a bit blah but its nothing to do with her and she says "its ok Mum I was feeling really tired and grumpy after New Years Eve remember" this makes me smile cos she thinks she has only ever had one bad mood and it was after New Years Eve remember.

Drop off books etc and half way back to car it starts pouring... we both get soaked and its a good thing I'm wearing black. Car is soaked, new books are soaked and Lulu is soaked.

Pick Bear up from the oval ... His team had a win but his teammate broke his collarbone and Bear got a duck , so his day didn't get any better after the coaches call either.

Now all of the above was just a warm up to the best part of my day.

I ran out of petrol on the was home.

Of course I ran out of fuel in the middle of town which was great because both random strangers and several friends could drive past and see that I am an idiot who isn't organised enough to put fuel in her car. I rang the car club assistance guy and after about 25 mins he turns up with some fuel (the car club assistance membership saves David about 1 Divorce each year because he is never available).

Luckily the rest of the day was sort of drama free (does finding 3 off prawns at the back of the fridge and nearly chucking up count as drama free?). Roll on better days.

Happy Aus Day

I always cook the same food whatever the occasion apparently...

Am I spinifex?

Am I a Platypus?

Are we the Minogue Sisters?

Our little Aussie Battler....

Am I a Wombat?

After whinging about how many bogans try to wreck Australia Day... I decided I would be the changed I wanted to see... or something profound like that and hold an Aussie Day lunch to celebrate just how lucky we are to be Australian. Of course I sent out invites the day before and all most of our peeps were way more organised and had better offers... oh well we still had a ball.

We played Famous Aussie Heads : which makes excellent use of sticky notes. Everyone writes down a famous Aussie person or Icon or animal and sticks it on another persons forehead. You then ask yes or no questions just like Celebratory heads. It was such good fun and great for the kids to be versing the adults.

This was followed with not a particularly Australian lunch (ham prawns salad and baked potato) and fantastic deserts made by Bear and his cousin DJ Chocolate cake and Banana muffins. YUM! Don't ask me why we had ham again... David and I went shopping for the food provisions and ended up with Ham and Prawns ... and yes everyone is sick of both after Christmas ... we always feel such pressure when feeding my sis and BIL as they are both fantastic chefs AND work in the food industry ... the upside to this is having dinner at their house is like going to a 5 star restaurant. A couple of weeks ago we went their for tea and had Chicken & Seafood Laksa, Pork Won tons , Whole Snapper with Tamarind sauce and spicy chicken. Some of the best food I have ever tasted has been cooked by my Mother in law, my Bro in law and my sister so we are indeed very lucky.

Dot Points

Because I am tired /lazy dot points are so much easier that trying to think up witty full sentences... also if you may be offended that I talk about my hair and the Haiti crisis in the same post stop reading now.

• Brad and Ang are apparently on the rocks... I find this disturbing because if two people with great genes, loads of dosh, fulfilling pursuits (the UN for goodness sake) and NANNIES can go to splitsville what hope have us ugly peeps who work 38 hour weeks got? I also find it disturbing that I believe everything on the nine msn website and that I have dedicated more than one sentence to this topic.
• The Weekend Aus newspaper ran the most disturbing pic of an older boy child (about Bears age) in Haiti who was bashed and left bleeding in a riot for food...I haven't been able to get the image or the Haiti situation out of my head all weekend. The country is a failed state in practical terms and was limping along with a lot of help from UN peacekeepers before the wreck and devastation of the earthquake...I can only image the horror of what is happening on the ground now. Like everyone else I hope that the aid and the aid workers can alleviate the most pressing and dire situations and triage the wounded etc and organise some housing/shelter for these poor people... long term I hope there is enough political will and aid from the more developed countries to help get some decent governance ...the Haitians deserve this and so much more.
• Brown or Blonde? Before Christmas I had possible the worst haircut and colour evah... I don't blame my hairdresser (much) I am useless at getting across my hair desires (which is strange because in real life I'm so bossy). anyhoo the blonde I am at the moment is everything I hate about being blonde... its yellow / sort of orange and I need to wash it almost everyday with super strong purple toner shampoo & conditioner ... which is hurting my scalp and making my regrowth a strange dark purple colour... it's a good look people. I have been thinking for a while that the maintenance of blond hair (I'm naturally a light brown colour) is too expensive and time consuming and I actually only like my hair for 2 weeks of the 6 weeks between appointments. So I could stop the whinging and go brown... I aalso need to stop changing my hairstyles and just stick to a style and colour (can anyone say short attention span).
Blonde and long
Brown and shorter...... Feel free to tell me your preference.

• Fake blogs... did you know there are fake family blogs? me neither until I read about it... what is it about the interweb that makes peeps think today I will create a blog about me and my imaginary family?
• Budgeting ... thanks for all your great advice guys. Since posting about saving money I have paid out for Council rates for the house and Council fees for our renovations and my ipod has officially died. The ipod will not be replaced until we go OS and this makes me sad cos I love listening to music on it...but bad luck.
• D had to go away for work late last week... it sucked and I didn't sleep and I cant believe that when Bear was a baby D spent weeks and even months away working. It didn't help that he flew into a cyclone... he is home now (earlier than expected yay) and I'm looking forward to a relaxing nights sleep. Its a bit sad that I have a huge list in my mind of why I could never get rid of D... I don't know how to light our pot belly heater, I cant work out the pool filter and I cant sleep on my own are just some of the reasons (lest you think I am a bad wife he knows about the list and oftens adds things to it for me).
• Aussie Day is Tuesday and I think it is SAD that I don't want to take the kids to the beach for a picnic because of stupid racists ugly bogans who think Aussie Day is great day to get drunk and wrap a flag around themselves and start fights...I have been in Canada for Canada Day and it was very patriot and uplifting... I wish we could get some of that here.
• I got a dress for my brothers wedding...and I'm not sure if I like it or if the only good going out shoes I have "go" with it... and I'm NOT buying more shoes... the dress probably needs a post of its own I have so many issues about it (sad I know). The dress in gunmtal grey "storm" actually and my shoes are black patent...thoughts?

Budgeting 101

I have been thinking about our budget since before Christmas and because when an issue starts to stress me I try to "control" it and that usually means blogging or talking about it ... hence this post. Also I hope you all have much better and smarter ideas than me...
From the get go I need to say D and I are so blessed and lucky to have what we have and work where we work...and we get to go away every now and then... so I really appreciate how fortunate we are.
But that being the case with me working part time,I really have to stick pretty close to a budget if I want to keep paying off our house and/or fund holidays and renovations.
I guess the main reason for this post is I really want other people to say "yeah I have to stick to a budget and sometimes its hard"... cos I don't like to feel like a loser on my own!

So some budgeting things that have worked for me in the past:

• I try to only shop for food every 2 weeks and before I go shopping I make a list of all the stuff still in my pantry and fridge / freezer so I don't double up and so I can make up meals from what I have.
• I borrow books, magazines, DVD's and CD's from the library... I actually cant remember the last time I bought a book for myself to read (I buy them as gifts). I know this doesn't work for everyone but I think I must save $1000's of dollars a year borrowing from the library.
• I usually don't buy clothes for me or the kids when they are full price... Target, Sussan and Myer (my main clothes shopping places) ALWAYS have sales on and I just cant bring myself to pay full price.... this drives my Sis mad I'm sure when we go shopping together! D is completely different... he likes to pick his own clothes but only goes to the shops once a year... so once a year he buys shirts, new shoes , new jeans new sunnies etc etc.. and getting all that once a year he spends less than I do buy grabbing stuff every time I go to the plaza.
• Movies are a rare treat in our house. The costs of the family going to the cinema is about $70 before drinks and popcorn... so we usually only go during the school holidays and then only once.

Budgeting things that don't work at all for us

• Shopping at Aldi or buying cheaper meat etc for meals. D starts work quite early so when we have our evening meal we all sit down at the table and turn the tele off... and sometimes its the first time the kids have seen D or spoken to him that day. Our evening meal is special and I try to cook nice things everyone likes (this doesn't always work mind you!)
• Saying no to all fun activities... this just sucks for everyone , moderation is the name of our game.

Now I need to step up my budgeting to a whole new level... I have additional expenses this year such as Bears school fees and a holiday and I really want to keep paying off our house at the same rate we have been .... in order to do this I have decided that my new budgeting / spending $ guidelines will be:

• I need to do a menu plan for each evening meal... and stick to it so that I don't have to keep go back to the grocery shop (because I go to the local shop to get apples and come out with $27.50 worth of crap)
• No more new clothes for anybody. AT ALL. Nobody in our house NEEDS any more clothing.
• Limit our eating out to once every six weeks. This may sound strange but our little fam loves to eat out and the places we go to are quiet expensive (even crappy take away is expensive) so we have to cut back on this.
• No purchasing home wares or any thing to "pretty" up the house. We are planning some major renovations in the next couple of years but because the house is such a eyesore I stupidly think that buying new towels will make it all better... it doesn't help at all and I just have to be patient and wait until I have a decent bathroom / Kitchen etc to "pretty" up.

There is other aspects of our budget that need sorting out (like the kids DVD late fees ) but this is where my head is at with it at the moment.

So what are your budgeting tips? Do you have secret way that I can spend as much as I like and still have oodles of dosh left over? no you don't? ... that's a shame. Tell me your saving tip anyway.

Most boring post ever

This post is about the past weekend but it has no pics cos I forgot to take my camera (hence boring).
David and I went to the city for the weekend to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It was great, we stayed in a hotel like this:

Ate (some of ) the worst meal we have ever paid for (David's cooking doesn't count).

and David watched this for hours at a time on a king size tv lying on a king size bed...
Obviously we still had the best time.

Whenever we go and stay in the city (usually with the kids) I plan, plan and then plan some more trying to squeeze in every last thing I want to see or do or visit lots of restaurants I want to eat at. It's relaxing (not) and the last time we went Bear and Lulu revolted (or became revolting... same thing) and refused to do alot of the planned activities ...can you imagine!

Previous visit - May 2008 before a revolt at the museum.

This weekend I really wanted to do as little as possible and we did. We got to the city Friday night and had a some really yummy food at a wine bar next to the hotel. Saturday we had breaky at the hotel then walked through the city , came back to the hotel and watched "Time Travellers Wife" (don't bother its lame) then watched a wedding in the hotel garden from our hotel window. We had tea at one of the city's top restaurants (according to the 2010 wine and food guide) which was both bland and tasteless (my prawn risotto) and burnt and bitter (Daves lamb)...oh well you cant win them all I guess. Sunday after breaky we headed back to the coast to pick up the kids from my SIL and BIL. Sunday afternoon was spent watching Bear play his first cricket game back after his broken hand... he did well as did I for remaining awake for the entire game...

Even though I feel like my budget is a hot mess with Christmas and School supplies ... getting away without the kids is very good for the whole family... if that makes sense.

Computer woes

I am having major computer "issues" with my laptop at home... It's in intensive care trying to be bought back to life as we speak (I'm hoping for a speedy aka cheap recovery). If you are lucky enough to get an email from me sprouting the pros of nokia mobile phones...ITS FAKE and my grammar isn't that bad.

But I was watching the news with Bear this morning and my life (even with fake emails and a dodgy laptop) is pretty tops.

Take care everybody.
Ex

Awfully Wedded

Dear Husband of Mine,

Thirteen years ago today you stood in front of a bar in the No 2 convention room at the casino and vowed in the presence of our friends and family to take me as your awfully wedded wife. The crowd thought you were being funny. I knew you were just confused.

Even though that day was full of lows and I know you like details so I will list them (that could me just me)

like
my family members, your family members, the torrential rain, the trainee wedding photographer, the celebrant who failed to turn up, the casino staff who failed to do pretty much anything they were obliged to, the whole wedding having to move from the gardens to the no 2 convention room about 15 minutes before the ceremony,the lack of information telling our guests that the wedding had moved resulting in peeps wandering in at all times, the dinner being served to all 12 tables before either of your parents tables were served, the lack of chairs at the ceremony (making the parts of the ceremony where we asked people to stand ...unnecessary), our underage guests nearly drinking the bar dry, me having to walk through the poker machines and smokers bar to find the no 2 convention room in full bridal getup, me crying and lastly not being able to get rid of all our brothers and sisters who came back to the bridal suite after the reception.

Yes the trainee wedding photographer thought this pose was hilarious..."point and laugh at the newly weds"

Having had 13 years to reflect on our wedding day, you will be pleased to know I have come up with a few positives like

Your brother Nick flying up at the last minute to be your best man and coming into the casino the next day to have lunch with us. It was my introduction to the rock solid support Nick has shown us always.

My Aunt organising for my Nanna to fly up and attend the wedding. My Mum's Mum was the best grandparent any child could wish for. To her many grandchildren she was kindness and tolerance personified as well as being just good fun. Of course I didn't know on that day that it would be the last time I would see her as she died later in the year making her presence at the wedding even more bittersweet.

But the most amazing and important thing to have occurred on that strange day 13 years ago was that I became your wife .... and for that I would go through all the crappy weddings and stressful Receptions in the world because being part of your life has enriched mine... beyond measure.

So on the aniversary of that day... I wanted to thank you for marrying me and for making our union much more than the sum of its parts....we are a good team you and I.

Eternally yours,

Your Awfully Wedded Wife.

Us celebrating 12 years

Today

Today the boy is off doing this

So the kids and I have amused ourselves today by:

cleaning the bathroom and toilet (that might have been just me)

watching tele

Surfing the web

going for a walk/bike ride /rip stick ride around town

complaining about the humidity then laughing cos we use to live in the most humid place in oz

traveling to 4 different shops to track down the weekend papers

speaking to my MIL and laughing about our attempts to penny pinch (she feels my pain)

doing a few loads of washing

being very happy it has stopped raining

picking just one recipe (from the 7 cookbooks I have borrowed form the library) to actually make

preparing a very strict budget for the next 6 months so we can eat in Thailand

and

going to the video shop.

Its been great roll on tomorrow.

Keeping It Real aka Way TMI

Some very insightful and witty writers/bloggers have been posting about keeping it real on their blogs...not just posting the great stuff or the shiny pics about them and their family and it struck a chord with me. I started this blog for a few reasons. I wanted to record the goings on of the kids lives (I seriously have a problem with my short term memory...more on that at a later post) before I forgot it. I wanted a place to chuck all the useless & random thoughts that go around and around my head and having a blog/journal was part of the advice given by the counsellor I started seeing about managing my anxiety/stress and sorting out some "issues" I was tired of carry around. I wanted to make a photobook of family pics each year since I cant seem to find the time to scrapbook anymore. I wanted to write reviews of books and music and TV shows I liked without seeing my family and friends eyes glaze over when I tried to talk to them. I also wanted to comment more of fantastic blogs I visited and felt like a stalker knowing lots about people but not revealing anything about myself.
But I heavily edit this blog...especially the pics of me. Because I'm vain and controlling and I need to manage how others see me (counselling is going well cant you tell). Other things about me I really don't want you to know / or I would never tell you...
I find some friendships really hard work... If you want a friend who is always there for you and spends lots of time with you... I am not that person... I am ashamed that I am not a better friend.
I find it very difficult to have people in my house, I cant relax and end being exhausted by the people who I'm suppose to be spending "quality time" with. This is partly due to the size of my house (tiny) I am hoping that when we add another bathroom and bedroom I will feel more comfortable with having people stay over.
I will avoid conflict at all cost...I don't think I was ever given the skills to be assertive (this doesn't mean I don't get my own way) and a huge part of my counselling is trying to be assertive and honest with the people I love.
I struggle with living in the present moment... everyday I have to remind myself not to hang on to the past , not to overplan or stress about the future but enjoy and live today.
At 3am I stress and worry about my kids in very strange ways...I think I am so lucky having the children I have (healthy , good learners, well behaved and socially adjusted) but I'm scared to death its all going to change ...my kids are really easy ... what did I do to deserve this and if it is all just luck...I cant control it . Then I wake up and see that maybe luck and parenting have a bit to do with it... but it still stresses me out.
I have minor panic attacks in underground carparks and in confined spaces. When we went to Fleetwood Mac I was very worried about being in a building with that many people ...I relaxed as soon as I worked out where the exits were....I really do not want to be limited by what scares me...hence the counselling.


I reckon that this little blogspew is more than enough for "keeping it real". I have also posted a pic that I would never normally post...bra showing, stringy hair, wrinkle/triple chin, fat droopy arm, stupid look on my no makeup face..... Its a great one of Bear!

The funny/ironic thing about blogging is that the honest blogs where writers tell it like it is are the most interesting ones - not the train wreck ones that I cant read as I feel like a voyeur and not the blogs where ONLY the cute, shiny, perfectly edited pics and info is shared - I watch rom coms for that level of make believe.
Have a great day
Ex

The Bay

My FIL and MIL Joy have retired to a coastal community about 3 hours north of us and we went and stayed with them for a couple of days after New Year. We had a fantastic time with Nick, Trac and the kids as well. The new house is amazing (Dave did the joinery) and its right on the beach! The location is amazing, from the deck of the house to the waters edge is about a 30 sec stoll, and the weekend was so relaxing.... it helps that Dad and Joy are the most laid back people and I always feel so comfortable with them. Case in point : moving their furniture into the new house, Dad has marked a couple of the (brand new) walls... Joy told me she wasn't worried about cleaning them as she would do it after the Grand kids left....Joy is the ultimate relaxed parent!

When I first started going out with David (and meeting his Dad) my best friend Annie said "well at least you know what D will look like when he is 50" he is the spit of his Dad.

This is what happens when you try to take too many pics of the Bear.

Nanna Joy Poppie Philip and the boys

After tea one night Dad bought out all his old photo albums... we spent hours looking at them. There were great pics of David and his brothers growing up in Africa and Dad guarding the Queen in a former life! So fascinating.

This is Bear and Nick and little bit of my nephew on the wave ride at a water park we visited.

This is Nanna showing my niece how to put pics on a little digital frame the grand kids got for Christmas. Nanna Joy has the patience of a saint and let the kids cook, play, go to the beach, ride and talk to their hearts content...

Christmas Cards

I have kept lots of the kids cards and writing over the years... mainly shoved in the back of a cupboard for the "one day" that I'm going to scrap it or do something heartfelt and amazing with it all...more than likely its going to get lost or thrown out. I thought I would blog the kids cards to David and I before that happened especially as I seem to have misplace Bears card to D already!

Daddy
I love you so much I have to wake up at 6.00am so I can say by in the morning because if I dont I'm sad at school. Iloveu
From Lulu




To Mummy
Yes you are mine and I love you so much I no I say I love you night and day but I realy do love you. I know it's not a lot of rwight (writing) but I do mean it so Mummy I love You!!


Dear Mum
Hope U have a happy & lovely Christmas with all the people U care about. Hope u get what ever u want and u dont have to do anything
Love from Riley xoxoxox
P.S Have a safe and Happy Year in 2010.

Happy Birthday Dad

To one of the funniest blokes I know,

I hope your day is fantastic and you get spoilt rotten... take it easy on the spreadsheets and Aldi Hash browns.

Love from your most favourite Daughter

Exxx

NYE 2009

Nick, Trac and B

DJ & Cath

The Boys and their Girls

Doesn't he look happy he got his own way...

Uncle Andrew with injured hand but still smiley

Uncle Nick and E grooving

Bear and G rocking on

Thumbs up from Aunty Cath

My niece and Bear singing to Britney Baby

All we want to do is dance...

Before Christmas I reluctantly agreed to host a NYE gathering at home. I was completely talked into it by David who loves both New Years Eve and parties and the combination of both just sends him giddy. I knew I would be worn out by the Christmas activities and that on new years day we were driving up to see David's Dad and his partner Joy for a few days.... so I sort of accidentally on purpose forgot about the NYE party ... until I got phone calls from people who were invited,asking what food etc they could bring... make a note people denial only works when everyone is in on it.

Of course the night was a heap of fun and after some delicious food we all danced, danced and did a bit more dancing...

David was really excited about going to the fish market and getting Sydney rock oysters and making special Kilpatrick Oysters for starters. Unfortunately he and Andrew were sort of trying to see who could shuck them the fastest and Andrew slipped and cut his hand! We also had garlic prawns and roasted wagyu beef which was cooked to perfection by Cath and Andrew. My niece made a tower of cupcakes that my kids ate for the next 4 days and my SIL Trace made a fresh mango cheesecake... we were so blessed with great food.

After the clock struck 12 (which came about really fast surprisingly) we all jumped in the pool to cool off before bedtime.

Don't tell David but I'm glad we had a party to say good bye to 2009 and welcomed in 2010 with lots of people we love.

My life without me

I have been looking for this DVD (not very hard mind you just at the library and Civic Video) for a while ,and a couple of days before Christmas I found it on the DVD shelf at the library. This Canadian film was released in 2003 so as per usual I'm so up with my pop culture.

The story sounds very tragic and sad so lots of people, especially mothers might be put off by the subject matter. The film is about a young Mum who finds out she has terminal cancer with about 2 months left ... so she sets about crossing all the things on her "to do before I die" list. Some of these things include finding a new wife for her husband and trying out false nails. I really loved the way this story was told and whilst I did cry at the end - it wasn't a sad sad movie... it was more uplifting and romantic and it provides a huge nudge to us all to live our lives to the fullest and be kind to the ones we love.

It also helps that this movie had two of the most handsome men as leading actors in it.